Last post was back in February, it is now April. I think I’m doing okay, mentally wise. I did see a therapist. For only one time, though. It felt and still feels as though they’re wasting their resources on me. But that’s okay. I’m getting by.
Found a bunch of music that is really love, rediscovering songs that I hadn’t listened to in months and years.
Also still very obsessed with John Marston and Red Dead Redemption. Also obsessed with the Dishonored series and Corvosider.
Because I’d be a fool not to see the relationship that grows between Corvo Attano and The Outsider in both Dishonored and Dishonored 2. And at the ending of Death Of The Outsider, the happy ending is where Billie Lurk takes The Outsider to Dunwall so the Outsider can be with Corvo and just have his happy ending with the man he loves.
I am writing again, finding a bunch of writing prompts on instagram and on tumblr. Just need to get motivated to type it up. And to finish a story that I started in the summer of 2016 ><
I’m still alive. Finally went to see a doctor and now on medication. I’ll be seeing a therapist next week.
When you becime the reason all the bad things happen and you just want to give up forever 😦
When you feel like your mask is about to crack and you’re scrambling to keep it ptached up.
Why is it when I think I’m helping, I’m just screwing everything up. Just shows that another thing I fail at trying.
The music from Moana makes me cry so much. Such beautiful songs and sung so well, but damn does it make me bawl something fierce.
So things have been going pretty well. My sister and her family came to visit. It was fun, though it felt both short and long. And I miss them already. My sister (somewhat) offered me a place to stay. Said she’d help me get a job and get me back on track to losing weight. I want to take her up on her offer, I really do. But I’m afraid.
I’m afraid that if I do leave, what will happen to my mom? I feel that she’d get lonely, even if she has my dad.
I’d have to leave my animals behind, unless she allows me to bring them.
Started working the summer program, only pulling 21 hours a week for 3 weeks. Let’s see if I get paid or if the check (however small) will go to benefits and taxes 😦